


The Stars That Stayed

by BakedRoses



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: ABBA is a coping mechanism, Banter, Bittersweet, Canon Compliant, Enemies To Lovers To Enemies Again To Friends To Lovers, Implied PiningTM for Big Boss, Love/Hate, M/M, Nothing Like Well Aged Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:07:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26389162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BakedRoses/pseuds/BakedRoses
Summary: Mamma Mia, but make it angsty.
Relationships: Kazuhira Miller/Ocelot
Kudos: 10





	The Stars That Stayed

Hoarse whispers of former passion mixed with coarse laughter into a bittersweet concoction of broken promises and betrayal, the lies almost as bitter as the cheap, sour alcohol that was being poured into two well used shot glasses. Between rough, sloppy kisses the soldier and the spy reminisced over drinks, huddled in the dirty blonde’s office as the snow rained down outside. A thin blanket wrapped over their shoulders, a calloused hand tugging it closer over the Russian, Miller hated so much. It wasn’t like he cared anymore, or so he tried to tell himself. If they tried maybe for one day, they could pretend they were both young and naive again, staring up at the stars with snarky laughs, and half hearted insults. They could pretend they were whole again, and when they still believed there was a true future for them. A future in which they had peace, for once. Where the rivals, or were they lovers, maybe even enemies could finally breathe.

“Kaz, you look utterly pathetic right now.” Ocelot said with only a small amount of bite, as the last of the vodka slipped past bitten raw lips. Placing the glass on the crowded desk, he left it there for a moment before knocking it off with a self satisfied smile before curling up into the drunken American. Miller only groaned, burrowing his head into his hand and then onto the desk, his dark shades long abandoned on the floor. He turned his head to glance at the rolling glass before shifting his weight slightly to glare into the blue eyes of the Russian. Ocelot raised an eyebrow, gently cupping his stubbled face with gloved hands, glaring right on back. “Not even going to bite back with an answer? My, you really have gone soft commander.” He sneered.

Shrugging out of his loose grasp, Miller instinctively flinched out of the other man’s touch, anger burning behind his broken eyes, before he slowly sighed and nestled his face into Ocelot’s chest with a quiet hiccup. “Shuddup.” Kaz mumbled, grabbing at the silken fabric. “Jus’ shut.. the fuck up. I don’t need your shit right now, Ocelot. Y’know it’s Miller to you.” He added sharply, his grasp tightening as his anger spiked once more. The hand belonging to the Russian rested itself on his matted locks, taking a moment to check for the man’s reaction before running his fingers idly through it. A tender gesture, had it not been for Miller almost rolling off his chair a few moments later. Adam steadied him sharply, before letting out a soft sigh.

“...And unfortunately that’s my cue to not shut the fuck up as you so politely described it. What’s got you down this time, Kaz?” Adam responded stubbornly, carefully manoeuvring the Commander to the couch while he was distracted by the question. Throwing the blanket over the American, he sighed quietly once more, his tone turning somewhat softer towards his old friend. “You don’t have to.. tell me, if you don’t wish for me to know.” He added gently, once Kaz was properly seated. 

Kaz winced slightly as he tried to get comfortable, bruises from the poor quality prosthetics making all positions somewhat uncomfortable. He gave a somewhat strained half-smile in response to Adam’s questions, before biting back as well as he could. “What, not going to bribe me?” He asked sarcastically, his tone still slurred slightly, hardly able to keep himself sat up. He was clearly in a bad state, hair unbrushed, piles of work left to do and his clothes unwashed, his stubbornness could only get him so far before he’d rapidly start to break down and somebody, usually Revolver Ocelot or Big Boss would have to come and try their best to convince him to rest. Although many others had given up on ever getting the former party boy to relax properly for once, the two still saw some hope in it. 

Adam rolled his eyes, taking a seat next to the man, patting his shoulder awkwardly. “Bribe you with some damn sleep, maybe, lord knows you need some. At this rate Miller, you’ll end up scaring the troops into thinking you’re the walking dead for fucks sake.” He teased, with a soft shove before picking up the nearly empty bottle of vodka and finishing it swiftly, tossing it over to the growing pile of broken bottles. Rising to his feet, he turned to face Miller with a false bored expression, hands on his slender hips as he wagged a finger. “What about a threat instead, hmm? I will sing at you, young man.” He said in a somewhat desperate attempt to try and make the man laugh to break some of the tension, or at least take it as a cue to try to get some actual rest for once.

This did not exactly go to Ocelot’s plan, as Miller’s eyebrows immediately rose practically into his hairline, a surprised snort escaping him much to the man’s annoyance. Trying to save face he relaxed into a snarl once more,”“And what the’ fuck should I tell the people that immediately rush over to see what the fuck sounds like a small raccoon screaming into the moon, oh yes, local torturer has gone completely mental, great start!” He said only half seriously, the faintest trace of a smile creeping onto his usually scowling face. 

“Oh, come on, Commander, you know I have a perfectly pleasant voice, you’re just jealous because unlike you, I can actually sing you damn greaser. No need to worry about any outside interference, they all know I’m here..” Adam taunted, slowly walking over to a CD player, searching for any sort of music he could find within the mess of Miller’s room. Eventually he found a clearly slightly old disc, brushing off the dust with a snort. “Really, Miller? ABBA of all things? Never took them to be your type.” He said teasingly, putting the disc into the machine and waiting for it to start.

Kaz grabbed a pillow and attempted to cover his head with a deep groan, before resorting to throwing it at Ocelot who stepped smoothly out the way. “Have you no morals? No standards? I will not sit here and suffer through you butchering perfectly good songs, you bastard-“ he yelled, as the music slowly started to fade in. Realising that he was stuck listening to Adam’s actually rather pleasant voice (although he would never admit it to the man), he dropped back onto the couch and rolled onto his chest in a last ditch effort to get comfortable, praying for it to be over quickly so he could get back to work. 

Unfortunately his prayers were not answered, and Adam took his sweet, sweet time to actually start singing. Feeling sleep start to try and creep in, feeling the tiredness he was trying to fight off sinking into his bones, he decided to close his eyes, and focused on letting the soft music reach his ears. Exhaling deeply, he tried to remember the last time he had been in a position like this, and just for a moment he could see the starry sky above him again, and for the briefest of seconds Kaz could swear he could feel the leather of blood red gloves on the back of his neck, a scent so utterly familiar, so utterly nostalgic, pulling him in, threatening to keep him there, and maybe, just maybe he wanted to stay under that starry sky. Tune after tune, note after note his mind is a drift and he could almost see those pearly blue eyes again, shining brightly with the stars of the sky. One line, reached the faded memories in his mind, Ocelot’s voice husky, yet not in the way John’s had once been when singing. “Yeah, I’ve been broken hearted-“ Adam started, a pause drifting in the air as he awaited an answer. Kaz, clinging to himself a little tighter, weakly echoed back the words Adam wanted to hear. “Blue, since the day we parted” before rolling onto his side, and carefully grabbing hold of Ocelot’s jacket, holding the soft fabric close, breathing in the smell of his cologne, somebody else’s cologne and the strange lingering scent of old cigars. Burying his face in the fabric, he felt the familiar burning sensation at the back of his eyes, the closest he could get to crying anymore. 

As the songs continued, one after the other, Miller softly found the words to join in occasionally on songs he liked the most, his voice cracked and wet sounding but also the happiest Ocelot had heard him be in a long, long while. If he had opened his eyes, he might have seen Adam smiling at him, yet he kept them closed, lost in a world of bittersweet memories, and the soft blanket of reminiscing. Finally, once the music stops, once the final track comes and goes, the room falls silent once again. The lively pictures of his younger days faded back into the darkness and nothingness which shrouded him as Miller laid there, eyes still closed. Yet he was still happy. He could still feel those stars staring back at him, and he knew that he'd only need to open his eyes again, he'd only need to come back to the present again to see them, but the present hurt like no other and there was such peace beneath these stars.

So, he kept them closed, merely rolling to the side a little further, his breath starting to slow as he almost fell asleep. Opening his arms invitingly, he murmured the words Ocelot had waited months to hear once again. “What are you waiting for, Adam? You can sleep next to me ya know.” and without a second thought, Ocelot climbed under the coat next to him, breath cold on Miller’s neck. Kaz had fallen as soon as Adam had joined him in his embrace, Adam’s gaze falling on the man’s face, the slightest hint of a smile playing on the sleeping man’s chapped lips before he too closed his eyes, nestling within the tight, soothing hold of the man who wasn’t truly his enemy. As he closed his eyes he too, thought of stars.


End file.
